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’Twas noisome, and the silly trolls
Did sputter and spew away:
All in a tizzy were the bored droves,
And the moderates were outraged.

“Beware the Pettifog, my son!
The cliches so trite, the phrases that catch!
Beware the cultish blurb, and shun
The furious righteousness!”

He typed his verbal word by hand;
Long time the tiresome foe he fought—
So chewed he did Tums times three
As he gathered up his thoughts.

And, as in pensive thought he sat,
The Pettifog, with just one aim,
typed clatteringly on the keyboard pad,
And showed it had no shame!

Such pap! Such crap! So keys he tapped,
The cutting word through bullshit sliced!
The ruse was slain, but it rose again,
Unaware of its own demise.

“And hast thou debunked the Pettifog?
The Hydra’s head, that grows two new!
O such futility! Where’s the utility?”
He despaired of what to do.

’Twas noisome, and the silly trolls
Did sputter and spew away:
All in a tizzy were the bored droves,
And the moderates were outraged.

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